You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
