I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
