Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
