I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
