i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize