You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize