Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
