i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
