my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
