Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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