i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
