Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I need moral support for this bender
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize