I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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