I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
