After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My life is pants optional.
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