I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
