are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
