Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
