I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
