Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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