hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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