Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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