Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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