Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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