if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
