Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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