Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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