There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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