shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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