So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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