there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize