i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
