I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
