Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
