so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Randomize
