I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
