Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
