i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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