I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We need to get me chipped asap
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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