i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm at about main and main street
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
