Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
