matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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