how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just had sex on a roof
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
