I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
