i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
