if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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