Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
