I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
