the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize