I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize