You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
