i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
