Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
