some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
