We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
